The Guilt Loop: Why Women Keep Apologising to Their To-Do Lists

After months of grief, burnout, and refunds, I’m finally catching my breath - and talking with Mel Schenker about why women feel guilty for simply pausing.

There was a stretch of time - almost a year - when guilt sat on my chest like a second workload. Client projects piled up faster than I could breathe; two relatives passed within months of each other; and I kept pretending I could keep everything moving. I refunded clients before they even asked, took a spontaneous week off because my body stopped cooperating, and started to wonder if I’d broken something permanent in myself.

What Guilt Looping looked like for me

For months I woke up with that hollow feeling - I’m behind again, and today won't make a dent. Behind on my goals, my work, on parenting and enriching the lives of my pets, on being a wife, and most of all - on feeling like myself.

Only now, as autumn turns the air sharper, and I've finished almost all but two of my current client retainers, I am finally feeling like I’m crawling out of that backlog and back into more of a rhythm.

That guilt loop - the constant sense of being stuck, of forgetting something crucial - is exactly what I talked about with Mel Schenker, host of the Beyond Organised podcast. Our conversation spiraled into how women juggle endless lists, reminders, and roles until our brains start dropping pieces of life like overfilled baskets.

From our chat:

“But then, then there is the other side of that stick, is where you think you're doing fine, but actually you are already overdue on payments. You haven't done your taxes, you haven't issued your bills, or you haven't even maybe sent invoices to your clients.

And then you feel like something's off, but I'm not sure what. And then you get a late notice on your utilities bill. And it's not that you didn't have the money, it's just that you didn't set a reminder for yourself.”

Feature: Voices We Love — Mel Schenker

When you look back at your own creative journey, where do your best ideas tend to find you?

“A lot of my content ideas definitely come from the messy in-between… My bigger business ideas usually surface in stillness, when I get a rare pocket of quiet to think and process.”

Everyone has their own way of catching inspiration before it slips away. What’s your go-to?

“I’m still refining my system… I use my reMarkable, OneNote, sometimes even my phone. It’s not perfect, but the key is to grab the thought however you can before it disappears—because with four kids, it disappears fast.”

Hosting a podcast means chasing down a lot of ideas. What’s the most surprising one you’ve followed through with?

“Honestly, starting Beyond Organised at all. I never planned to host a podcast, but it’s taught me that creativity doesn’t need to look polished. Sometimes it’s about showing up, hitting record, and trusting the messiness.”

My reflection: Mel’s reminder landed in the right place, right time: perfection isn’t what saves us - systems do. But the systems that truly sustain us are born in that space between chaos and quiet.

If guilt has been weighing on your shoulders lately, too, consider this your sign to start fresh - not by adding another project to hyperfocus on, but by giving yourself grace and seeking out the present things that are contributing to your anxiety.

🎧 Listen to our full conversation on Beyond Organised

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